Crusty Genderless Fun
I ran into Lahryssa (Fetus) from the Vaggies and I have been kicking it with her at her house in Selah. Her mother is a wonderful lady and they raise horses and mules. Joe from YVC and she and I got some 40z played yahtzee and poker and listened to music and I stayed when he went home. I had watched Unforgiven the day before and hanging out with my mom has gotten me stoked on westerns and Fetus told me she had to get up early, and when I said why she said, "to dig a grave." Ever since I was a kid I've always wanted to dig a dank-ass hole, and the idea of grave-digging was too much to pass up, so I stayed to help her. One of her family's dogs was hit by a car. We woke up in the morning and went out to get shovels and whatnot and grabbed a blanket to put the dog on. Fetus filled an empty 40 bottle with water so we could use it likes a canteen, the aesthetic of which was great as we walked down to the river in our flannels with our handkerchiefs hauling that dog. We dug and dug, and as we stood over the grave it started to rain. Too perfect. The dog was dealt with and we went back inside, after watching an anthill for awhile.

We had a great talk about gender roles that was started by this amazing crimethinc poster I was looking at in her room, which she gave me a copy of. We talked about gender and identity and role models, and how boys like to bake and sew, too, even though they're told they're not allowed to. What was amazing though was her younger brother Sean who is maybe 10 (? I am bad at guessing ages, but whatevs) was the first kid in ages that has liked me, and he kept going on about how cool he thought I was after we got done digging the hole together, and asked me to play Halo with him, and then he and I made food in the kitchen together, and I did the dishes for Fetus' mom, all while wearing a pink bandera (and my new Brujeria hat!!) and I felt soooo great. Fetus said "look how easy it is to be a good role model." I'm very surprised because kids never like me, especially young boys.

We fed and watered the horses and whatnot (they're so big! Its been so long since I've been around animals) and today we collected and burned a bunch of tumbleweeds. Doing farm work again was like a long-belated homecoming for me. It makes me feel so earthy and humble and like I'm back where I came from, even if it's somewhat different than orchard stuff. We are stoked on watching Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid tonight and I might go horsin' about (ha! ha!) with Fetus' mom the next time she does a woodsy, trail horse adventure.

I feel bad because I lost track of time because I have no cell service out here but I'm pretty sure my mom will understand. After some yelling.

I know my writing and composition was so much better when I wrote every day, but this is the first time in a long while like I have felt happy enough with my life to write it in life-journullll.

Strange, after the big move to PDX, the place where I find friendship and companionship and real fucking experiences is back here, and for the first time in my life, I'd rather stay in Yakima a bit longer.